Wives Association of Zambia (WAZA) RESPONSE to Husband Soccer Fans Association of Zambia (HSFAZ)
RE: FOOTBALL FRUSTRATIONS TO REMAIN WITHIN THE LIVING ROOM
With regards to your letter dated 8th June, 2018 where you warned us to refrain from playing with the remote control unnecessarily during this coming up Russia FIFA World cup so as to reduces cases of GBV, as WAZA we would like to put it clear that we have given heed to your timely warning and we can assure you that the TV screens, remote control, decoder including the AV cables and the Dish on the Roof will be all yours from the first whistle up to the lifting of the cup by the deserving Team! And as WAZA our association shall distance itself from any of our members that shall fall victim of GBV as a result of abrogating your demand during this crucial BP time of world cup matches!
However, we would like to warn that should your team lose any of the matches, frustration should remain within the living Room boundary and never should it be extended to the bedroom!
As you watch your most loved game, we advise that you better watch your game while topping up with some sex enhancers because as WAZA our conjugal rights will not be denied just because Brazil has been beaten by England!
If Cristiano Ronaldo gets an injury to his private part during the match, please don’t walk to the Bedroom as if you are the one that has been injured otherwise we expect more than the usual 4 full rounds and failure to do so we shall be left with no choice but to summon your respective Bashi bukombes who will later be up on you!
For your own safety, if by any chance an African team such as Nigeria scores, your crazy jubilation of jumping on the sofa should never be extended to the Kitchen lest you jump into hot cooking oil on the pan and we don’t want our court system to convict our members for the crime they did not commit!
Please we have heard rumours that Janny Sikazwe will be part of the FIFA Referees so each time Sikazwe’s face appears on the screen we don’t want you to start screening our names ati “Halo Grace or Joyce bwela uone Referee watu Janny Sikazwe!”
Also you would do better if you answered this question in advance to avoid been asked during the Matches; so now that Zimbabwe beat Zambia during the Cosafa cup final, does it mean Zimbabwe will be part of the Teams that will be playing in this world cup?
And lastly but not the least, now that you have given us the leeway to socialize by attending Chilanga mulilo, baby shower, Kitchen parties, overnight players, funerals in order not to disturb you at all, can you kindly confirm whether we are at liberty to visit our Ex-boyfriends just to say hi and find out how they are coping up with bachelorhood in this cold June since most of them are still single? Your quick response please!
Otherwise all the best to your respective teams!
Yours royal wives
Melody Chigwileni Mushe
M.L.C Wife Association of Zambia
Cc: Ministry of Gender
Cc: Alangizi/Bashi Bukombe
Cc: Women Support Initiative